Man up. Grin and bear it. Get on with it. Suck it up, buttercup.
Society often makes us feel like we have to just keep on going, pushing through when times are tough and work ourselves into the ground, but sometimes our greatest strength is to know when to take a step back and look after ourselves.
I’ve done exactly that over the last few months, owing to heartbreak, depression, and moving house (well, that’s still a work in progress, but it’s been a stressful road!) and though I’ve really missed working, I know it was exactly what I needed, and as a result, I’m ready to come back, guns blazing!
The idea that we need to bury what’s troubling us, and just keep pushing forward is such a harmful narrative, and it’s little wonder mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety, are at an all time high. So how do you know when you’re close to burnout, and what can you do about it?
Burnout
Signs of burnout will differ from person to person, but some tell-tale signs can include:
· Feeling panicky or overwhelmed
· Sleeplessness even though you’re tired
· Feeling unwell or run down
· Dreading each day
· Feeling exhausted- mentally and physically
· Feeling tearful
Physically, you may also feel jittery or shaky, like your heart is racing, or you’re finding it hard to breathe. If you experience trouble breathing, or chest pain, please seek urgent medical attention.
What to do
If you’re able to take a step back from work without adding too much financial pressure on yourself, this may be worth considering. Whether you’re self-employed or can speak to your GP about signing you off for a little while, easing the daily burden of work can be a good starting point to catching your breath, so to speak. Other things you can do include:
· Talk to someone. Talking really is underrated. You can talk to a trained professional or to a friend or family member. Getting everything off your chest can go a long way to easing the load- after all, a problem shared, is a problem halved!
· Have a look at everything you’ve got going on- what can you drop? Are you volunteering anywhere? Having friends kids once a week? Baking for donut-Fridays at work? All these little commitments add up, and by dropping some, you’re taking back some time for you.
· Get yourself a diary and write down everything you need to do- and then prioritise. What’s REALLY urgent, and what can you put aside for another day? Categorise them into urgent, to do soon but not today, and to do on a rainy day.
· Give yourself a sensory detox. Give yourself 10 minutes to put down your phone and sit in silence (I recommend ear defender or ear plugs), in the dark (or use a blindfold) and sit or lay down. The aim isn’t to sleep, but to just enjoy the nothingness. We live in a world of constant sensory bombardment from social media, tv, and everyday noise, don’t underestimate how great it feels to switch off from it all!
· Go easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for needing time out- you’re human, not a robot. Maybe you just need a few days, maybe you need weeks or months. I needed months, and I’m not ashamed of it- and neither should you be. Take as long as you need, you’ll reap the rewards for it later, and there’s no gold medal for being a martyr.
· Find shortcuts. So overwhelmed you can’t face making dinner? Get a take away or a microwave ready meal. Can’t face the school run? Rope a friend in. Struggling to keep on top of the housework? Hire a cleaner, or just do the minimum- the house won’t fall apart.
· Take a social media hiatus. I know, I know- it sounds terrifying, but hear me out! We’re in contact with hundreds, maybe even thousands of people every day from our social media accounts, and that means taking in thousands of bits of information, and without realising it, comparing our lives with theirs. It’s imperative to remember that what you see on Facebook, is only what the poster wants you to see- it is not a true reflection of their life. It’s worth considering a few days without scrolling through, and monitoring how it makes you feel.
Burnout is more common than you might think, and is your body and mind’s way of forcing you to slow down in order to rest and recuperate, so it’s vital that you listen to the signs. You’re no better a person for struggling through alone without some kind of break, and there’s no special prize for doing so, so it makes sense to take that breather and focus on yourself. Most mammals have long periods of hibernation or rest, and do not expect to be performing at 100%, 100% of the time- so don’t expect that from yourself. Self care is NOT selfish.
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